209 days, 23:38:52.987089 57.2602739726 Hmmm. It’s over 55% of the year. This past week my 24h fitness membership expired. I had previously bought the 2 year costco membership. What this means is that I’ve been in San Francisco for 2 years + 7 months. Since I moved here in January and lived in a luxury condo that had a gym for the first 6 months that I was here. That’s kinda crazy. I’m quickly closing on 3 years in San Francisco. That’s almost… 1/9th of my life. I’ve spent… more than 10% of my life in San Francisco. I’ve spent… almost a full undergrad in San Francisco. Whoa.

For all the talk about american healthcare being bad. I feel that it’s actually fine. Sure… healthcare cost my employer a fortune. But for me… it’s essentially the same in the States as Canada. Actually… it might actually be cheaper. I saw my sports chiropractor this Monday. I think the average visit is like $50. And considering.. the time that I woke up with crazy back pain… it’s actually really convenient that I have such a wonderful doctor available.

I’ve been feeling a bit out of it recently. Work has been crazy stressful because of a project deadline. But I guess… even with the stress. It’s nothing I can’t handle. And… I guess it also helps that I really enjoy my work. Just listening to music and building things in Python. It brings me so much joy. I guess… in a way I’m really lucky. Not many people get to say that they enjoy their day to day work. So… I guess in a way. The stress is good.

I think I’m back to my pre vacation fitness levels. Almost. Saturday I went to yoga. Monday I went to yoga + spin. Yesterday I went to the gym for my 5x5. And today I went to spin again. Then again… the 20 minute run yesterday night… was a lot more mentally taxing than I remember it. I guess it was a test of will. And my will didn’t falter. So that’s good.

I started reading a new book. It’s called age of anxiety. It talks about how the author lived through lots of anxiety and stuff. It’s funny because I spent almost 2 hours last week looking up psychopath / sociopath… I was wondering if I was one. It’s unfortunate that I’m not a psychopath. Since I experience fear. And guilt. And shame. Sometimes I wish I was a psychpath so I wouldn’t have to experience those negative emotions. I guess you gotta be able to experience to lows in order to experience the highs. I was flying high. But then Toronto happened. I guess it’ll serve as a reminder that there’s really nothing left for me in Toronto. I tried going back and spending time with my family. It’s funny that when living with my family… I actually feel more isolated and in some ways lonely. Maybe someday I’ll fix that problem. But for now… I’ll take the Vanille route and just run. I think it’s fine to run from your problems when you don’t need to fix it yet.

August is gonna be an interesting month. I don’t have much planned except I definitely am going to visit an isolation tank in SF. I think that’ll be my time bending activity of the month.