So… It’s officially the day after ax. Let’s see… it’s currently 4pm and I spent all day lazying at my airbnb. ^_^

I woke up. Had food. and started watching the hype video for UFC 200. UFC is one of the few sports that I follow since it’s just so… beautiful. It’s like… what happens when two indomitable wills crash? the other thing is that.. I think at some level. Once you reach saikai level… you need delusion. I mean… if Michael Bisping didn’t believe that he could become the UFC champ… why would he fight? I think.. it’s similar to the sc2 Harstem line. You don’t want to be the number 1 sc2 foreigner… you always want to be the best in the world.

There’s so much dedication and hard work that goes towards becoming a ufc champion. And even with all the hard work… a title shot isn’t a given. Getting a title shot requires hard work, dedication, skill and luck. And it’s still a rare opportunity.

I’ve been purposely just taking it easy these past few weeks since I quit work. I think… I needed a break to reset. Travelling actually tires me out… I much rather have a home base. It’s like… the ajito. Aka the hideout. Without your own hideout… where will you go to recover your hp/mp?

There’s so much that’s been on my mind. AX honestly felt like a full circle. It’s my second AX and definitely my last for awhile. But it was still so much fun. Even though it’s the same thing. Like… it’s the same… but different. I actually ended up leaving the airbnb every day in LA so that’s like… an improvement over previous shut in. Then again… I think each time I travelled to LA I ended up leaving but I don’t really keep track.

Oh… once I went on vacation in vancouver for 10 days. I think I just marathon played pokemon. I literally went from starter to finish in probably… 7 days. It was so much fun..

So my year in Japan. There’s so much that I want to do. In a way… my year in japan will be my title shot. It’ll be me chasing my dreams. I can level up into the next circle. Or end up having to do another lap. And either way… it’ll be fine because I tried my best and took the best course of action.

The thing is… it’s really hard to determine the best course of action. I guess I’ll know in retrospect if I tried my hardest or did my best. What’s funny is that at some point in time… other people lose to ability to judge how hard you tried. Cause… they don’t know how good you are.

So where was I. Oh right. Japan is like my title shot. I have one year to do whatever it is that I want… and it’s going to be a lot of things. I’ll eventually write a checklist.. but I think and strongly believe I can hit all my objectives. Because I know myself and my abilities.

You know… this trip was hella weird in a way. Because… things that people started telling me that I thought were crazy and unbelievable… started coming true. So… I think I lost the ability to sleep in. I use to go partying with older people… and and even at work whenever I arrived late to work… people older than me would be like. Eventually you can’t sleep in. Last saturday… I woke up at 8 and did a bunch of shit. And when I looked at the clock it was 9 something. blah. And holy shit. I think… I’m officially old to the point where I can’t sleep in. Like.. I’m still a night owl. And I don’t really sleep until 2am. But I’m awake at 9am. I think… it might just be the airbnb. The blinds doesn’t shut out the sunlight completely like I’m used to. I’m used to total darkness. Cause I’m a vampire. So… if I regain the ability to sleep in… I would definitely enjoy it. If not… I’ll enjoy the extra hours in the mornings. After all… waking up early is a.. what’s the word. maxim. It’s something successful people do. Alot of successful people wake up early. So maybe I’ll join that crowd.

The other thing is… I was gonna perscribe myself laziness. I told myself it would be okay to spend an entire day in the airbnb watching anime… and while I did spend a large amount of time watching anime. I eventually went out and spent time with friends. I finished owari no seraph and seven deadly sins in my week in LA. Also finished akito the exiled code geass. It was meh.

And here I am… writing this post after cloning the repo on my new laptop. New being new OS… I’m still on my 2310M sandy bridge msi laptop with 16gb of ram. It’s still kicking so much butt. I gave my laptop 16gb of ram and 2x ssds. And now on linux it’s still good enough to essentially be my portable desktop. Life is good.

it’s weird… that i somewhat censor myself in these posts… since google analytics tells me that 3 people read it. LOL. and I’m one of the 3 people… so basically only two people in the world knows my deepest darkest thoughts. My deepest darkest censored thoughts.

So I stopped getting id at places. Bars/Clubs… I think I’m now in the middle age rich label even though I’m poor. Hmmm. Actually that’s not really true. I’ll probably write a post on financials and growing up with poverty. While I don’t think that I’m poor I think I still have the poor and poverty mindset. It’s like… I’m only 2 years away from living on the streets. Friends won’t let me crash on their couches and all my skills will suddenly become worthless. I’ll lose the ability to do anything.

I guess part of adulting is just teaching yourself what your parents failed to teach you. In the past I would always wish that I grew up with different parents with more freedoms or whatever. But I guess now it’s ok… since everything is up to me.

so moving from sf. I think I threw away $1000 worth of goods. that just blows my mind. I don’t think it’s $1000 cash value but it’s like… $1000 book value for sure. still though… I guess I’m still looking at it from my poor kid point of view. I think at some point in the future I’ll probably be okay with losing 10k and even 100k worth of goods. But I’m not there yet.

I’m all about the time bending. and I think time slows down when you’re all… the power of now and eckhart tolle and stuff. but it’s kinda hard to get into that state. i think for me it’s more about just noticing when i’m in that state and enjoying it. that airport line… wow time goes forever.

i can’t wait til i’m free of the clock. when i’m in japan i’ll be able to sleep/work/wake whenever i want. so stoked. ok. i think it’s rambling now. gonna continue with the ufc 200 hype before getting lunch with sexy kawachi ojo sama :D