I started going over my diary entries for 2016. It’s… kinda crazy. The early parts of 2016… it happened this fucking year. Yet it felt almost like a lifetime ago. Reading the thoughts of my January self… wow. I think I was really stressed / focused about work. I would take naps at 10pm and then fail to sleep at night. Struggle to make it to yoga class because I couldn’t wake up despite having enough sleep and the weather being warm.
I’m still recovering from the cold. I got sick… around christmas time.. and it’s knocked me out up until now. I think I’m about 50% recovered. I spent most of today just going over my 2016… and reviewing it. There were actually some dark times despite me ending 2016 on an amazing note. Specifically, in October/November I was struggling hard with the language. I came to Japan having only one friend and struggling to read karaoke in katakana. What’s funny is that… looking back… I was really hard on myself. Which isn’t the answer. Sure, you can always be better and work harder. The way I see it is, when you have a problem you either elevate yourself to solve the problem, or you reduce the problem to something of your level. I can’t really force myself to speak perfect Japanese.. so it’s fine to just meet bilingual people. Although I do eventually want to learn Japanese via Japanese. I think I have sufficient Japanese to bootstrap my Japanese learnings to learn like a kid now.
|I went to the gym today, despite being sick. I think I broke my back doing deadlifts. LOL. Even though I told myself I would take it easy since I’m dead tired. One of my new years thoughts turned resolutions, is I messaged everyone whose name made it into my diary and wished them a happy new year. That was an interesting action. For some reason… I get nervous wishing people happy new years. It’s like… I might piss people off by messaging them happy new years. =||/shrug. Whatever.|
I only put 2 new years resolution for myself. One is to release 10 apps, 5 android, 5 ios. And the other is to be more true to myself. Identify when I’m doing or not doing something for the real reason. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s laziness. But the initial reasoning… generally isn’t the truest one. I think with meditation and metacognition. That’ll make things easier.
I spent christmas and new years eve doing karaoke with new japanese friends. It was so much fun. Especially the new years eve where we had a nice 6th floor view too. I feel so spoiled. I’m definitely living the dream now. I think the other thing is.. I need to be more focused. The sickness probably is gonna end up taking out 2 solid weeks of productivity. So I should work more whenever I can. Well. I guess this is a v1 brain dump of what I memory based recollection of 2016. I’ll probably do a proper one and post a retro with goals. What’s funny is… 2016 was… so jam packed for me looking back. So much happened. But during the day to day it’s hard to see the amazing things that I’ve accomplished and how much I’ve grown. I guess you gotta take a step back sometimes. That’s the whole point of the new years retrospective.
I was surprised when the guy I follow said it takes 2~3 days to do an annual retrospective with a new yearly plan. I guess he was right after all. Plus… I’ve been writing diary entries pretty consistently so I have a lot of data to work with. It’s so crazy. The person that I felt on a certain day… even on October. He’s like so different from current me. I think… it’s almost cyclical in nature. Life is a circle. To be continued.