Wow. Feburary is almost over. Damn. It’s… kinda unbelievable how crazy fast time went by. Henry visited for like a week and I got pretty distracted. It’s just so much fun to hang out with him and he’s on vacation so he’s in chill explore and get food mode and in Japan you can do explore and get food mode forever and not run out of options.

I haven’t been working recently at all. It’s kinda crazy. Sigh. It’s like… I’ve been meditating every day still… but it’s like I’m just do the action without putting in the effort… which is bad. Today… on my way back from the gym I just totally spaced out and then realized that I walked past the grocery store… I then had to backtrack to the grocery store to get my snacks.

What was I thinking about? Don’t really remember… probably thinking about the future and how it can get even better? Even though I’m doing no work. Recently… I think… I just don’t want it badly enough. It’s like… I think when you’re back is against the wall… or you’ll starve if you don’t succeed you’ll work harder and succeed. But it’s like… my life in Japan is so good. I can just play video games and eat delicious food. I think… dullness is just too addicting. Just living the path of least resistance… it’s… so… what’s the word. It’s actually so captivating. To be swept away in the monotony of the day to do.

There’s only a few more things on the android app.. and honestly I think if I was in the zone I’d be able to crank it out in about 3 days. It goes back to… professionals always work. Right now… it almost feels like I’m not a pro. I started watching this uh… chinese drama on netflix. Each episode is like 45 minutes long of dullness. But it’s like… so addicting.

The other thing is… I think you just default to taking things for granted. I recently found out that my spa has an amazing sauna and ice bath. So I can do the sauna -> ice bath training which is really good for your health. Oh yeah. For dinner I had a delicious donburi, takoyaki and a mocchi for dessert. Just writing that sentence brought a smile to my face. hehehe.

Tomorrow I’ll be getting desserts with a cute japanese girl. On one hand it’s like… damn. My life is so freaking good. On the other hand it’s like… blargh. I haven’t been finding the ‘motivation’ to work. I’ve been lazy and just not being thankful and enjoying things. Weird. It’s like a paradox. Although… looking back. Even when Henry was visiting I did commit code at least 3x a week. Which is pretty good.

I guess I should just celebrate the good things. Things can always be better… and I can always theoretically do better. But looking back… I’m doing pretty great. My japanese is at the level where I can almost listen to random conversations without trying… and the other day I was pure japanese almost. Starting from march I’ll go pure Japanese to solidify my learnings.

I really wanted to get my app out by feburary. It’s still within the realms of reality. I guess it’s more important to focus on the process. One commit per day. On average will always bring you closer to the goals.

Well. Writing about how great my life is made me feel better. heh. So I think I should start doing the 3 thankful things again. That always helps. It’s like… you think you don’t need it… but you always do.