Today is Sunday… finally I get a stay at home and do nothing day. Writing a new entry is the only thing left planned for the day. The rest is gonna be spent watching Starcraft and House of Cards. lol.

I finished filing my taxes for 2016. Just when I downloaded my completed and submitted form… I realized I missed an electronic only tax form for exercising my options. Sigh. That means I’ll have to amend and probably pay back some of my refund. It’s only a minor annoyance. I’m sure I’ll still get a refund. It just means I gotta amend and figure out how to pay the difference. But… it annoys me.

Osaka was… interesting. Went to see the castle. Travelling with others… it just feels like a loss of freedom. The five star hotel was… nothing special. I mean… the executive lounge was nice. You get free breakfast and drinks with a badass view. I actually really enjoyed going to the lounge dressed as a bum… for some reason that’s like… really fun for me.

Kyoto was all old style architecture and nature. What’s funny is… vacation with my friends who are on vacation… is like worse than my regular day to day life. It’s official. My regular life is better than vacation. Dream life reached? In a way it was almost always like that.

Went to the gym yesterday… and I uh… struggled. Sigh. I’m just mentally weak right now.. not sure why. I mean… my fitbit said my heart rate was ~170… so I know that I could’ve ran more. but… I caved and slowed down. It’s like… I know I’ll be okay and that I can do more… but I chose to do less. When running… it just feels like I’m gonna die… even though I know I’m not.

Went to yoyogi park twice for hanami twice. Finally saw the cherry blossoms… and it’s not as expected. I guess in a way… reality and expectations are generally way different.

I’ve been having this feeling recently… it’s like. I know I can do more. It’s like… always the case. I can always do more. I guess I gotta take it easy for bit. I dunno.

I’m looking forward to Haskell learning this weekend.

Sigh. I got weaker. It’s a fact. I think… getting weaker is like… I didn’t want to face reality. In my mind… I knew that vacation, eating junk food, not working out would make me weaker. But like… I didn’t want to face reality. I avoided doing deadlifts for like… a few workouts… because I was afraid to face the fact that I was weaker. I’m weaker now… and I’m slower now… than last December. It’s… reality. But I know that I can become stronger.

It’s time for me to focus. I’ve been partying too much and eating too much. My sleeping has been bad… but I’m gonna fix it. Because I can and I will. I still have 5 months of Japan. Wow shit. Only 5 months left.

I still need to hit… 45 minutes of running. Damn. I’m not even close to human flag.. or planche. But I know that I can do it. I just need to focus. It’s time to eliminate. No more crap food and shitty sleeping.

Okay. Gonna enjoy my Sunday now. I’m thankful that I got to stay in a 5 star hotel in Osaka and travel Osaka and Kyoto with my friends. I’m thankful that my Japanese friends introduced me to interesting people that I wouldn’t otherwise met. I’m thankful that taxes was easy. That even though I made a mistake… that the mistake is an easily fixable one. Life is good. I’m on the up and up.