:D

That’s… I have a nice grin on my face just… appreciating and being thankful of where I am writing this. I’m currently in Chiang Mai. I’ll be in Chiang Mai until March 1st. But the reason that I’m so happy is that… this is literally what I envisioned and dreamed of. It’s weird… everything that I’ve wanted for my future came true. But that’s been written about before. I’m just thankful. Hard work and luck. I dunno. But either way. Life is great in Chiang Mai. It’s t-shirt and shorts weather.

I’ve already been to Muay Thai classes twice. At first I wanted to do muay thai 5 times a week. After my first class on Monday, I woke up Tuesday morning aching all over. So I didn’t go Tuesday. I went today though which is Wednesday. I’m planning on going again Friday.

Sigh. My left leg is still injured. It got injured because my mental was actually stronger than my body. Which is both good and bad. It’s good to be mentally strong and infallable. But.. when it leads to an injury it actually slows down your overall progress. What happened was… I was jogging and going to the gym in China. But… there was gonna be a period of break/no gym. Cause it was cold or whatever. So I figured… more rest days ahead. Push myself and go all out. Then, left leg gets injured and now it hurts whenever I run or step one it. Sigh. I’ve been… uh. Compensating though… which is probably bad. Make me pickup some bad muay thai habits. Meh. No big deal.

I got my laundry picked up and delivered in Chiang Mai. For… $4. The laundry was picked up and my door… and now it’s folded in a ziplocked bad. $4. Fuck. My mind is blown. Using washio in SF… it cost me $80. That’s 20x. No wonder washio went under. Everything is cheap in Chiang Mai. Just like the bloggers said. Mocha is 35 baht. Which is <$2. Noodles / Rice dishes can be 40 baht which is… <$2. Damn. Food and laundry so cheap.

But… mosquitoes everywhere. Urgh. When I eat outdoors in streets, bugs everywhere. Also, it’s not english friendly, I just point to random items on the menu and it’s a roulette. Hope I don’t get something super spicy or weird. It’s the food roulette. Stray dogs barked and chased at me and I was… super scared. Like… how do I explain it. It’s like… the dog triggered intense fight or flight almost. I just kept walking and it just chased me barking but didn’t get bit. But - that was a uh, tramatizing moment. I’m just watching this Joe Rogan podcast when he talks to Steven Pinker. Basically, we’re all wired to respond to negativity more. All the greatness and amazingness of Chiang Mai. One negative wild dog experience, or a few mosquito bites. And that’s all you remember. In a way, it’s true. Biologically, I think humans are wired like that. That’s why it’s important to be thankful and meditate. I’ve been meditating 20 minutes per day for awhile now. It’s uh. On one hand, it feels like a waste of my life. On the other hand.. it’s like… turning me more mentally aware and strong. Weird. I’m just gonna keep doing it.

I woke up at 730 to meditate before going to Muay Thai. I can’t believe that I would wake up at 730. But I did. My shins are busted. I can kick more than my shins can handle. Gonna go to a thai massage tomorrow. OMG. 1.5 hours of thai massage is… 400 baht. That’s… <$20. Omg. Like. I remember doing a groupon for 2 hours of thai massage… and it was $200. Damn. Gonna get a massage every other day. Treat yoself.

I think one of the effects of my meditation is… I’m just more aware of my emotions and maybe it’s given me more calm and compassion. The other day I got my best thai massage by an old man. He was pretty magical. But it was in those lower tier places where you don’t have a private room. So I had to share the room with a huge group of like 7 loud ass chinese / taiwan tourists. And there was a kid there. So this is my thought. Fuck. Why does a kid get a massage man. You are way spoiling your kid and fucking up his future. I didn’t get to travel until I graduated high school. I definitely didn’t get anything remotely luxurious compared to a massage as a kid. But, that’s judgement and whatever. Sigh. It’s simply the way the world is. Kids get bought ferrari’s. I wish I got that. It’s like… I dunno. Just a form of attachment. Judging or wanting the world to be a certain way when you can’t control it. It’s like. Fuck. I wish there weren’t retarded people in this world. Okay. That’s probably not PC enough. By retarded, oh yeah. The Joe Rogan talk also had talks on uh… the modern PC and how everyone is out to judge you. And it’s hard to communicate via text because there’s no back and forth. What I mean is that, I wish the world made more sense and was more rational. Instead, we have shit that makes no sense. Shit that makes no sense is retarded. People that make no sense is retarded. People believing the world is flat. Fuck. That’s retarded. Okay. I’m gonna stop now.

Anyways, the kid kept giggling cause he was ticklish. And he was making a lot of noise which was annoying. But I just became aware of my attachment and tried to let it go. I was ticklish as a kid. Also, he’s probably trying to not be loud, he just can’t control himself. Whatever. No big deal. The massage even with the annoying kid and super loud chinese people, was the best thai massage thus far. Given to me by an old man.

I’ve been reading vinland saga in coffee shops. And today I was having coffee, reading vinland saga, and watching starcraft 2 live on my cellphone. It was a pretty high feeling. Like. Damn. Reading manga, in a coffee shop, in 25C sunny weather, in chiang mai. While live streaming starcraft to my cellphone on twitch. Damn. One part of me wished that I could take a picture for social media. My time away from social media… since china blocked it is… it’s definitely bad. Why would I want to share my peak experience. The important thing is that I experienced it in the present and I remember. But I’ve been programmed to want to share it somehow. Damn. Social media is social engineering. Ouch. At least I’m aware.

Scarlett beat SoS in Starcraft 2 to win her first… major tournament. Oh. Federer also been winning Grand Slams. It’s like… never give up never surrender. I’m hoping Soo will win the next GSL. That’s attachment. Oh. I’ve also finished both season of boku no hero academia. Damn. Shounen just… I’ve been programmed. Shounen is like… a drug. Like. Boku no hero academia gave me sick nerd chills and so much feels. Reminded me of gurren lagann. Good prevails through. Good struggles and loses but persevere and and wins. It just… what’s the word. More social programming. It’s like. I wish the world was shounen like. But it’s not. ‘Evil’ runs rampant and rules etc etc. There’s no good or evil but only thinking makes it so? That’s like high school philosophy class right there. That was a major digression, but I still have the belief that hard work -> success. When I know that plenty of people put in hard work and end up nowhere.

I’ve started reading rationality from A-Z. It’s uh… I thought I was rational, but of course I still have my blind spots. It’s like… sometimes you have a belief of a belief. And it becomes your identity that you are a believer. It’s like faith. And sometimes when you have faith you reject evidence which is bad. Fortunately, reality usually shines through. There’s only one reality afterall. I’ll get to test my beliefs against reality. By May of this year. But for now. I’m enjoying the present life in Chiang Mai.

Let’s see. Injury. Muay Thai. Cheap food. Social Media. Rationality and judgement / attachment. I guess… I am growing. I think… the chinese loud tourists would’ve annoyed me much more prior to meditation. They still annoyed me. But it was… I was aware, and so the negativity was lessened. And I still enjoyed the best thai massage thus far.

I was really tramatized by the wild dogs. But then… rationality and awareness… I’m still gonna take the same path and walk the same walk when I see dogs. Unless I see a pack of dogs, then I’m gonna turn around cause I don’t think I can take a pack of wild dogs and that’s too risky lol.

Also realized that learning styles is important. I really didn’t enjoy my time at the University of Waterloo. Sure. I somehow managed to learn everything they taught, and it gave me the foundations to become a good software engineer. But now, I’m going through machine learning via coursera. And it reminds me. It’s too academic. I hate having one correct answer. In the real world, there are problems and there are solutions. That’s what employment and exceling in work is… so much better for me.

I think I’m just gonna force myself to brute force sit through the lectures… then try out some side projects. Just like how I never managed to learn japanese academically, but one year of Tokyo gave me my desired fluency. I gotta learn things my own style.

Oh yeah. Thailand internet is… pretty first world. I’d say it’s even better than America/Canada/China. That wifi at the coffeeshop? It was a solid 50M. I ran fast.com and it rated it as 30 megabytes download. Shit son. Shit son. The internet, it’s the great world equalizer. Thailand is more first world than America/China/Canada.

That’s all I’m gonna write about for now. Oh man. Life is so good. I’m still on the up and up.