Wow. It’s my last day in Chiang Mai. Time went by… pretty fast.

I went to my last muay thai this morning. The dogs didn’t bark at me. For 2 days in a row I didn’t get barked at… just as the dogs start to remember me I gotta go. For 3 weeks, it was like… every day I would walk to Muay Thai, and for 2 minutes they would uh, scare the shit outta me. It’s weird because, logically. Rationally. I told myself it would be okay. In fact, I purposefully took that path to face my fears. But when the barking and chasing happens, it’s like. Fuck. It’s causing me to be nervous and twitchy.

Whatever. I faced my fears, woke up at 7:30 to go to Muay Thai for… 14 days outta 28. That’s pretty good. Wow. I only put in 15 hours of Muay Thai. It felt like… so long.

I’m thankful for all the delicious mango that I got to eat. Right by my place, there’s this fruit stall that sells mango slices for 10 baht a bag and I always get 2 bags. When I go to the grocery stores, I usually get 3 boxes of double mangoes all cut. Mango so delicious and so sweet. It’s pretty amazing.

I’ve been struggling to code in ios. Autolayout and uh, interface builder is not my thing. It’s weird but, the android xml layout is actually so much better. Or maybe I just learned it and mastered it so it feels better. I dunno. Gotta find someone who has mastered both and can properly judge.

Muay thai training was… I wouldn’t say hard. Well. It is tough, like clinch training, I’m sore for 3 days after the clinch days with sparring. The hardest part is just getting to the gym. Waking up at 730 and then getting there. That’s the hard part. Once you’re there, it’s all fun. I of course, had the added difficulty of the 2 minutes of uh, harassment lol.

But I did it. Discipline equals freedom. I kept repeating it to myself. Now I believe it, it’s true. Discipline does equal freedom. But it’s fucking hard to build discipline. Towards the end, I was just. It was harder to wake up early to meditate. I would lazy in bed before meditating later in the day. So in a way, muay thai ruined my wake -> meditation.

Some beats none though. And I always at least meditated for 5 minutes in the morning before muay thai. I feel like… my meditation is getting worse though. Not sure if I’m just more aware of when I’m off track… of if I’m actually off track more. That said, my awareness is concentration and mental toughness is definitely much better.

Never give up never surrender.

It’s weird. My trip to Chiang Mai. It’s like… everything I wanted to do happened. But it was so different from how I imagined it. The future won’t ever be exactly like you imagined it. But, things that you want to happen will happen. I guess? It’s like. Every time I predict or want something. Like today, on my last day I wanted to take a picture with all my classmates post muay thai training. Alex, this guy who usually goes every day, decided to not show up and I got a private class. I predicted at least Alex today in my class photo, but nope. Didn’t happen. I still got a photo with my trainer though so my muay thai photo happened, just not the way that I envisioned it. /shrug.

Soo lost in IEM. Once again, not what I envisioned. I envisioned watch Soo win the whole tournament. Damn. But I’ll still get to watch the tournament and enjoy all the sweet video games. Even though I know watching video games / watching sports is a waste of time… it’s like. The addiction. The dopamine. Damn. Sigh. Strange. Well. I wouldn’t classify it as an addiction since I know I can stop watching. I think it’s all about balance I guess. Work / Play. All work and no play makes homer go crazy. All work isn’t sustainable. Even though there are freaks of nature that can do all work, unfortunately I ain’t one of them.

Know what else is weird. Looking forward to shit. Like. I’m really looking forward to Toronto food, and playing D3 in Toronto. D3 new season just started. And getting the stash tabs, the griding, the dopamine. Damn. Son. Even though I should be enjoying Malaysia. Enjoying Amsterdam. I’m looking forward to both, and I’m sure I’ll enjoy both. But fantasizing about the future is pretty addicting.

Meditation definitely helped me to know myself better. And to be more present. That changes your enjoyment of things. Life is of course, great. Since I’m on vacation still. But life will be great when I move to new york. When I start working again. Life will be great. Cause, I’m great.