Things haven’t gone exactly as planned. And I’ve just been angry for no reason.

It’s for things totally outside of my control. Like. I literally can’t control what banks / governments / other people do. But it’s just… pissing me off. Stupid. I know. It’s like. I should only focus on the internal and my own actions, but I dunno. I’m getting negatively impacted.

I’m just like… the pressure on myself and the bar I apply to myself is too high. And I think… I just have a strong desire for things to be a certain way. Like. There’s this friend of mine. I got him a sick deal for an apartment in SF, I gave him like a $500 discount on my furniture… and all I asked for in return was holding onto my mail. Just holding it on, and mailing it to me. It’s like… fuck. People just take things for granted.

Sigh. I gotta let it go. I understand how it is. Or rather. There exist people like that who are just super self centered and don’t give a fuck. I would classify myself as one such person, but like when it’s been agreed upon beforehand. When people say they’ll do something and don’t come through. That just… urgh. Makes my blood boil.

Sigh. Let it go. Citi rejected me for a credit card. False positive on fraud. Sigh. Fucking bullshit. I opened a bank account with them specifically to avoid this situation. I updated my banking address and all that. Sigh. Fucking bullshit banks. They all have shitty service and a monopoly. It’s like. Government is fucked. Everything sucks. Fuck. I’m just angry for no reason.

Yeah. Sigh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m gonna take it slow. Meditate. Drink some more water. Okay. I’m calmer. Everything is gonna be great. It always is. Sigh. It always is.

Okay. Meditated for 20 minutes. Feel much more chill and zen. Everything is going to be okay. Actually, it’ll be better. Everything is going to be great.

2018 is gonna be great. Heh. It was great so far. Moved to NYC. Built my bed. I just can’t shake the feeling that… I’m waiting for the future to happen. Rather than enjoying the present. Gotta enjoy the present more. Heh.

I’m thankful for… chai latte made by a hipster barista. I’m thankful for 3x chocolate chip cookie freshly baked. I’m thankful for my shiny new keyboard and mouse that will complete my work setup. Life is good.