man. my life is so good. it’s literally the dream.

i finally started the good schedule. my weeks are no nice and well planned. it’s so good. monday to friday get to work at 740. play piano for 25 minutes and start work. gym and or brazilian jiu jitsu.

weekends. gym and video games. hanging out with friends. pretty amazing.

been meditating and reading more books. currently reading book on kubernetes and depression. reading the book on depression, i thought maybe i was a bit depressed. since i feel that… i should be happier given my circumstances, but… maybe it’s just adaptation for me. i dunno. but reading about real depression, it’s way different. it’s like… for them even showering is like… running a marathon level of mental energy. or even more. i dunno. i’ve never felt that so i feel thankful for being healthy.

ufc 228. woodley smashed till. i expected till to win, but somehow was cheering for woodley. i think it’s because i’m old now. even though i’m closer to till’s age than wonderboy. it’s like. i can see that eventually i’ll physically peak. i think theoretically i’m already past my physical peak, but since i’m not an elite athlete… training and shit still makes me stronger. but at some point… i’d say 33 ~ 36 the decline will inevitably happen.

so it’s weird. that i’m cheering for woodley. just because he’s an old man. i’m part of the old man team. which… also opened my mind. i finally get why every generation screws over the subsequent generation. it’s cause… they’re looking out for themselves. even though it’s their children’s generation… they still rather have things for themselves. it explains the nimbyism and stuff. it’s not that the government or the system is malicious… it’s the result of everyone looking after their own interests and stuff.

this weekend… so great. went to the gym saturday and sunday. saturday, i had a peanut butter and jelly for the first time in awhile. SO FUCKING GOOD. unbelievable. peanut butter and jelly. i honestly rate it higher in terms of taste and satisfaction than michelin star. no bullshit. peanut butter and jelly. i guess my taste buds are basic.

today i had all you can eat korean bbq, where they cook for you. followed by delicious cheese milk tea. so good. so good. life is too wonderful. there’s only a few missing pieces in the next few weeks before i can say i’m fully settled into new york. can’t wait to be fully settled.

i think… i’m always too hard on myself still. it’s like. i always think about being able to do more. could i run one more minute on the treadmill? yeah. what about one more rep at the gym? yeah. but.. i can’t extend that rep x infinity. at some point, i’ve hit my limit. it’s hard to know… when i’m trying my hardest. well. my philosophy is that it shouldn’t be hard. you gotta enjoy the process and take it easy. consistency over everything.

so. i guess things are great. i am being consistent. been playing hanon every day. i can feel my piano powers returning. soon i’ll be able to play without looking at my hands again, and with my eyes closed. can’t wait. wanna be learning your lie in april songs, and yiruma. and meditation music songs.

serral won 4x wcs. he’s the grand slam champion of wcs. it blows my mind. i think with the social media age… and the instant news age. it’s like. you only see the best of the best. so it makes it feel like you’re always falling behind. or that you could be doing more. like damn. but honestly, compared to where i was… i’m just so much better than before. and better than i imagined.

i’m still… on the up and up. and the best i’ve ever been. more the most part. i’ve actually gotten a bit weaker since japan, but that’s to be expected. japan was pure vacation and working out. now… i gotta work. but otherwise… everything is so on track. it blows my mind.

i’m thankful that … i’m finally feeling settled in new york. i’m thankful for the delicious korean bbq i had today, followed by cheese milk tea. i’m thankful… i get the play games on my linux workstation. it has a workstation class nvidia gpu with 6 cores and 64 gigs of ram. my mind is blown. my work desktop is the most powerful desktop i’ve gamed on. just enjoying the present. being thankful. and living the good cycle.

sometimes.. it’s like. every day i’m at the gym during work. it just brings a smile to my face. piano -> work -> gym -> lunch -> work work work. but the fact that i get piano, and gym in my work life. it’s like… fusing the dream life. i was just talking to my friend about this the other day. it’s like. my life is so good. there’s not much that i can do to make it better… because i built it this way.

i’m thankful i succeeded in building the life that i want to live. every day is almost the same. every day is great. life is good. and i’m thankful.