Hmmm. Few things I wanted to write about since it’s been awhile. My D3 incident. Doing the right thing. Emotions and feeling like it. Also khabib vs conor. Also the unseen struggles and hard work.

I’ve been playing a lot of D3 on the work mac lately… probably not good but I’m still recovering from flu and uh… injury. But that aside… today I was doing split bounties and I was doing my share of the work and then I got kicked. My initial reaction was being pissed off. Those fuckers just kicked me for no reason. Well. It wasn’t no reason because otherwise they wouldn’t have did it. Some people just wanna watch the world burn. But, that’s irrelevant.

I was super pissed off and sad. About 15 minutes of my life wasted. Man. I was fucking robbed. Rationally, I knew it was no big deal. It’s just a video game. I’m playing just to have fun. But like, that incident just… pissed me off. It was fucking unfair shit. Thing is, life is unfair. That’s just reality. The other reality? It’s always better to be optimistic, and cooperative. The optimal game strategy is… tit for tat forgiveness, but it’s hard man. Like, biologically. Fuck that guy. But rationally and philosophically? He has no free will so it’s like. Whatever he did there was a reason for it.

Afterwards, I kept doing bounties and it was fair and fun. Split bounties means you generally get shit done at at least 3x the speed. So, I lost 1x. But I did 3x 3x which means even though I got scammed, I still came out ahead by trusting strangers. Because cooperation is good. It’s like. It’s always better to be optimistic and then get scammed because in the long run, trusting and group cooperation is bad. But at the same time… the emotions of it. Fuck. I’m translating that to other things, and that happens so much in everything.

I’ve just been eating junk recently. And uh, every night I’ve been bitten by a fucking mosquito. It’s driving me nuts. Everytime I kill a mosquito. It’s like. Hallulujah. I’m gonna be safe tonight. THen the next morning I wake up with a painful and itchy bite. Fack. But. That’s a situation where, getting angry and pissed off doesn’t do shit. Being paranoid and always looking for a mosquito around me, doesn’t do shit. It just makes me angry and nervous anxious for no reason. It goes back to, it’s always better to be cooperative. It’s always better to not give a shit about mosquitoes because I gotta focus on more important things. But fuck, mosquitoes take up WAY too much of my head space. Way too fucking much.

So the degree of how pissed off I was at a random dude on D3 who wronged me. Is uh, crazy. Khabib vs Conor was a sick fight. Afterwards Khabib did some retarded shit because he was angry. The other guy insulted his religion and father. And uh, it’s like. Normally Khabib is a super chill guy, but then he just went apeshit crazy over religion and family. And uh, I know it’s built into our DNA. It’s like… how I was angry over the unfairness of D3, Khabib on religion and family is probably x1000 of that. Man, our biology is fucked up.

Don’t really wanna talk about religion. Okay, maybe I do a little. But uh, I definitely think religion is a net negative since people kill over religion and it’s obviously made up shit. It’s like killing someone over them not like Harry Potter or some shit. Which probably has happened in reality =

I got my place cleaned. It’s so great, she cleaned it so well. I just pay someone to clean my place now… even though it’s cheaper for me to pay myself to clean. It just feels so nice and they clean it so much better. I usually just leave the house now and trust that I don’t get robbed. Could I get robbed? Yeah, but it goes back to the situation. It’s always better to trust people. And the cleaning is so great.

I spent… more than 30 hours working on my mojave hackintosh. Sigh. It finally finished installing and booting. But I still have no graphics acceleration. I’ll be working on that for the rest of the day, and if it works. Hopefully I’ll be playing some D3 afterwards.

So much struggle and time spent on my hackintosh. For no real reason. Recently, I think I’ve been slightly depressed. Sigh. It’s like… the flu just triggered a depression because I can’t workout and shit. But now that I’m mostly recovered from the flu… I’m feeling a lot better. So excited to be able to workout again… and be at max power. Can’t wait.